For the last two weeks I have had a nasty flu-y thing that has kept me effectively housebound. I wasn't able to go to work (which is disastrous for my personal finances, but anyhoo) or to the combined church camp on the weekend or anything really, except the small huddle of shops where my doctor keeps her practice.
And I was so lonely. And so bored. Usually during the school holidays there will be at least one day in which I slump into deepest darkest despair and don't leave my room and just lie on the floor crying and thinking the dumbest most morbid thoughts - this past school holidays (right before I got sick) I successfully avoided doing this. I made plans, I had projects, I saw friends, I made sure not to leave time for the wallowing and the crying etc.
Turns out that being really really sick you have LOTS of time for this. Plus, you want to cry even more because your whole body aches and you haven't eaten in four days. (Seriously, this illness was that bad. Last Friday - two days ago (yeah, I put parentheticals inside parentheticals, watcha gonna do about it?) - I had an earache that kept me awake from midnight to 4am.)
Last Sunday I actually started thinking I had pneumonia - I started making resolutions. (Like, "God, if/when I get better I swear I will actually go out and try to make friends/meet people" type stuff.)
Unfortunately for current me (who only has a normal sized cold now, including husky husky voice) I can't remember what any of those resolutions were, apart from 'don't email people who won't email you back', 'next time I find out someone I know is sick I WILL send flowers and DVDs' and 'start eating healthy and exercising and maybe this kind of nasty won't be strong enough to wrestle your fit self to the ground again.'
So, yeah, next time you're sick, beloved friends, let me know and I will be there, willing and ready to listen to a catalogue of your aches and pains, bearing gifts and tissues. Because being left alone to be ill by yourself SUCKS.
Current listening: (again, it's gotten weird. This playlist doesn't make cohesive sense, but these are the songs I've been obsessively listening to over and over, so...)
The Love Club
Ukulele Anthem
Now We Know (if I had had internet access during the past week of illness I would also have been obsessively watching and rewatching the clip too, which is from my new favourite dance movie)
White Nights
“A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.” ― P.G. Wodehouse, The Adventures of Sally
No comments:
Post a Comment