I Wax Parenthetical On the Topic of Narnia

Hiya guys.

Didn't really know whether to put this on here or on my book blog, (cue shameless self promotion here) but my book blog's had more attention from me lately, so I'll put it here.

I own a tonne of Narnia themed books (there's a little section on my bookshelf where they hang out) and I've just acquired another one: The Narnia Code. Despite the incredibly lame title - which is actually an appropriate one, unlike most books with Da Vinci Code parody titles - it is pretty good and I am looooving it so far. Author Michael Ward's got a unique and fascinating thing to say.

Anyway... it got me thinking about Narnia in general and one particular Narnian controversy - Susan.

I never really liked Susan all that much - to be perfectly honest with you, I always prefered Peter and Edmund to their sisters... which isn't just to say that I had a little tiny crush on Peter growing up (heh heh, of course not...) or that I adored Edmund for growing up 'graver and quieter' and having that long bromancy chat with Eustace about their respective experiences of redemption. (And yes, I have lost my train of thought! Um...)

Lucy I always wished I could relate to more, chiefly because she's got such faith and such a close connection with Aslan. To my lasting regret I'm probably more of a Susan in some ways - not least because of the serious case of 'eldest sister syndrome' we've both got going. And I'm pretty sure that Aslan would be telling me "You have listened to fears, child," rather than "Now you are a lioness". Damn my insecurities!

Something secular adult readers usually have a problem with when they read Narnia is the way Susan develops (or rather doesn't develop) throughout the series. They say things like 'Lewis punishes Susan for growing up' and 'the author's issues with sexuality are blatantly shown in his portrayal of Susan'. Neil Gaiman apparently wrote a whole short story about the issue called The Problem of Susan (and if I learn that the title was meant to be a swipe at Lewis's book The Problem of Pain I think I shall be violently ill). I haven't read The Problem of Susan and I don't plan to; having read that there are disgusting violent and sexually explicit scenes involving Aslan. THAT IS IN NO WAY OK AT ALL EVER. (I just accidentally read the excerpt from a reviewer of the story. There is bile in my mouth.) GO RUIN YOUR OWN CHILDHOOD, YOU SICK SON OF A BACHELOR.

I say, if you want to read C. S. Lewis writing female characters badly, go read That Hideous Strength and leave Narnia alone. It's fine. But let me elaborate on that.

Susan's sin is not 'growing up'. All four Pevensie children actually grow up twice (I always wondered how they would feel about that - seems like a bit of a mixed blessing to me) - once when they're kings and queens in Narnia and once when they're back in 'our world'. And nothing negative is said or hinted about their transitions into adulthood either time - except perhaps for Susan. I grant you, she is a bit silly for considering Rabadash as a suitor in The Horse and His Boy, but I'm sure that's a mistake a lot of girls would make about a dashing foreign prince. And there are at least two other strong female characters in that book anyway, all you feminist Narnia bashers! What Susan gets called on is her retreat into superficiality. When Jill says 'she's interested in nothing now-a-days except nylons and lipstick and invitations' she means that Susan has become wrapped up in a chase for surface beauty and a desire to fit worldly standards. A bit of an easy trap for the 'pretty one of the family', I guess. When Jill does say that Susan 'always was a jolly sight too keen on being grown-up', Polly corrects her with 'Grown up indeed... I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste the rest of her life trying to stay that age.' Which is also a pretty good description of the whole of the modern attitude on age and beauty!
C. S. Lewis isn't attacking Susan's femininity. His sympathetic and human portrayal of Jill (I don't particularly like Jill, but she's very realistic and empathetic) shouts down any claims of misogyny from people who don't like Lucy or Aravis or Polly or any of the other fully fleshed out girls in the series.

And it is horrible for Susan that her whole family died together and left her alone - but I always saw that as a sort of hopeful thing: she doesn't end up cast out into utter darkness, she doesn't die lying to herself about her girlhood adventures and ignoring the rich spiritual life she knows she could have, so far as we know. I think that the loss of her entire family might just be the only thing that could jerk her away from the trap of superficiality. I mean, I could be wrong, but that's just how I like to think of it. There's still hope for Susan.

"This is a very great adventure, and no danger seems to me so great as that of knowing... I left a mystery behind me through fear."

Hello all

Here with a quick sort-of review of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, for your delectation.
It was pretty good. I mean, in comparison with its predecessors it was quite a well executed film. The special effects were enjoyable, the art direction pretty satisfactory, the acting... well, OK. William Poulter (who had already won my heart in 2008's Son of Rambow) I found delightful as Eustace Scrubb, though possibly he could have been given a better script to work with. Ben Barnes was Ben Barnes; Georgie Henley was much less annoying in this installment, though her acting skill and screentime were still pretty disproportionate. I was much less disappointed with the portrayal of Reepicheep though how much that had to do with the new voice actor I'm not sure.

But with Edmund's character I had a lot of problems. In the previous two films I found the Pevensie children were horribly miscast, with a possible exception of Skandar Keynes as Edmund. He came the closest out of all the children to a likeable and realistic portrayal whilst remaining close to Lewis's original imagining of the character in the books.
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader derailed my previous positive impressions very thoroughly.
The ads had me on my guard; showing a scene in which Edmund basically takes up the awful, angsty 'but-I-am-a-king-in-Narnia' stance that Peter's character used to help make Prince Caspian an ambomination as far as adaptations go. (I know that this attitude must have made logical sense to the filmmakers - but it sort of undermines the point of visits to Narnia - the idea that you're a better person for having been there. So far as Peter and Edmund go in these films, being in Narnia seems to have just made them into insufferable sulky prigs with delusions of grandeur.) Keynes was awkward with his badly created character - he seemed to spend most of the film skulking about behind Barnes, squinting gruffly and muttering badly written lines - the film probably would have been very little different and possibly better if his character had been left out altogether. Which is a shame because I loved the development and maturity of Edmund in the books - his sweet little scene with Eustace (after the latter's 'un-dragoning') was left out altogether. Plus his relationship with Caspian felt... I hate to say it... a bit... gay. Sorry.
I'm very glad that there can be no possible excuse for including any more stupid cameos of Tilda Swinton's ghastly rendition of the White Witch in the next film. But the brief Susan and Peter moments were handled well, even if they were only there as an excuse to have familiar actors' faces on the posters. In fact, the whole Lucy-wishing-she-were-Susan subplot was possibly even better than it was in the book.


The sketchy plot-line was, I reluctantly admit, a bit necessary for the film: the more unconnected seafaring romp that was the book couldn't have been translated to the medium of film without a bit more coherence. But the plot was pretty shoddy. And the seven swords/plot coupon thing really ought to have been left for the video game of the book and not forced upon bored cinema goers. But, besides the neverending and incredibly kitsch sea serpent battle, the film did not compete with Prince Caspian in the boredom stakes. Which was refreshing.

Now I shall say some nice things. The end scene with Aslan nearly made me cry - ahhhhh! A rare achievement for a movie indeed. And the whole thing was rather pretty. My desire to visit Narnia was only heightened by the experience. And it was a lot more meaningful and spiritual than the previous films, surprisingly. I know I have been a bit cruel in this review, but believe me, I did enjoy Dawn Treader and would recommend it for a light bit of entertainment. Don't expect too much. Just revel in the fact that you're in Narnia again.

"That's a book that always makes me hungry... there's always so much good eating in it."

Just for fun. Books that make me crave delicious food - simply because the author is wise enough to realise that eating is an enjoyable life experience worth writing about. Disappointingly, there are very few books like this that aren't written just for children. Apparently food isn't important enough to feature in grownup novels...


Most of Enid Blyton's books: particularly the ones in which children are friends with magical people whose sole purpose seems to be providing the children with whatever edible goodness they seem to be craving. Pop biscuits, ginger beer, exploding toffees, my gosh, the Land of Goodies! If your mouth didn't water once whilst reading The Magic Faraway Tree then your imagination must have had a screw loose. I remember once thinking, after reading 'The Children of Cherry-Tree farm', that eating lots of cream was good for you...

'"I wish for cream buns and ginger beer!" said Mollie.
"And I wish for treacle pudding and lemonade!" said Peter. A dish of cream buns and a bottle of fizzy ginger beer appeared in front of Mollie, and a dish with a steaming hot treacle pudding and a jug of lemonade appeared by Peter. It was just like a dream!' - The Adventures of The Wishing Chair


The Chronicles of Narnia

I think I'd let someone tear off one of my toenails (nice imagery, I know) if it meant I could join in on a Narnian feast. The Bacchinalian at the end of Prince Caspian! My mouth is watering. Just think what mealtimes at Cair Paravel must have been like.

'It was a fine meal after the Calormene fashion. I don't know whether you would have liked it or not, but Shasta did. There were lobsters, and salad, and snipe stuffed with almonds and truffles, and a complicated dish made of chicken-livers and rice and raisins and nuts, and there were cool melons and gooseberry fools and mulberry fools and every kind of nice thing that can be made with ice.' - The Horse and His Boy

The Wind in The Willows
I read somewhere that Kenneth Grahame wrote this for his son who was visually impaired: so the book functions on a sort of higher sensory plane than many others do. The animals in Wind in the Willows completely bring you into their world, which is a nice one, if sometimes sad/dangerous. When they eat it's totally an 'English bachelors' (I just realised that this is the only book that I have never even noticed, let alone resented, the lack of female characters.) do - but, as I say, definitely a nice one.

'At one end of it, where an armchair stood pushed back, were spread the remains of the Badger's plain but ample supper. Rows of spotless plates winked from the shelves of the dresser at the far end of the room, and from the rafters overhead hung hams, bundles of dried herbs, nets of onions, and baskets of eggs.'

'"There's cold chicken..." replied the Rat briefly; "coldtonguecoldhamcoldbeefpickledgherkinssaladfrench-rollscresssandwichespottedmeatgingerbeerlemonadesodawater_"'


What Katy Did

This is yet another of those books that defined my childhood... yet I have never met anyone else who has read it. Gets annoying towards the end because of the constant moralising, but all in all a
book I'd recommend to future generations. A large rambly family (not quite orphans, but the mother's dead) whose Anne-of-Green-Gablesish adventures vary from ridiculous pranks to serious accidents and saintly invalids. Check this for a long, mouth-watering passage solely about food:

'First came a great many ginger cakes. These were carefully laid on the grass to keep 'til wanted; buttered biscuit came next - three apiece, with slices of cold lamb laid in between; and last of all were a dozen hard-boiled eggs, and a layer of thick bread and butter sandwiched with corned beef... Oh, how good everything tasted in that bower, with the fresh wind rustling in the poplar leaves, sunshine and sweet wood-smells about them, and birds singing overhead! No grown-up dinner party ever had half so much fun. Each mouthful was a pleasure; and when the last crumb had vanished, Katy produced the second basket, and there - oh delightful surprise! - were seven little pies - molasses pies, baked in saucers - each with a brown top and crisp, candified edge, which tasted like toffee and lemon-peel, and all sorts of good things mixed up together.'


Unfortunately for me at this juncture, my fridge is empty...