“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.”
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Floating on a sunset cloud... of pain.

Ah, the reason for my panic attack of yesterday has become more plain to me... unexpected pre-lady-time! Whilst researching this post (because, of course, all my blogs are meticulously pre-researched) I found some interesting euphemisims for 'that special time of the month' but none I'd feel comfortable adopting, even for a one-off blog post, so I decided to invent my own. From now on I shall refer to 'floating on a sunset cloud', which hopefully is icky and unsettling enough for everybody - though not quite as pretty and delicate as 'the tears of my disappointed uterus', which is an honest-to-goodness thing someone said somewhere. Don't worry, I'm not about to spend a great deal of time discussing MENSTRUATION because it is, in fact, quite gross. In case you didn't know.

Instead I'll tell you that in an attempt to ignore the pain that nurofen is doing a lousy job at defeating, I'm listening to Peter Gabriel and music from The Rescuers.

I shall also here express my simultaneous emotions of befuddlement that people in general do not find the face of Benedict Cumberbatch completely gorgeous and marvelloustastic

and intense frustration that stupid Channel 9 will not hurry up and give us Australians a damn release date for Sherlock  season 2!

Oh.
No.

Just looked it up... and they have. It's next Wednesday evening. My brother's birthday. I AM SO ANNOYED RIGHT NOW. And the episode has a dominatrix and nudity and stuff in it, so watching it with my family is not going to be an option.




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Deep breaths. There is such a thing as catch up TV. At least there had better be. Though the fact that I will probably have to resort to such a thing is annoying beyond all belief, particularly seeing as the one reason (besides the law) that I didn't just download it off the internet back in January (which was pretty tempting, let me tell you), is because I didn't want to use up downloads on something that I would be able to watch on television legally anyway. AUGH.

I shall hereby assauge my feelings with some more Cumberbatchery thus:


 http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxhaprfC3b1qa0ta2o1_500.gif












Thursday, 17 November 2011

I Am Very Very Distressed In My Mind

Hey.

I know that of late I have not been a happy little blogger and that this has probably been displeasing to some or all of my dear readers (it displeases me also, if that's any consolation), but forgive me yet another rant of unhappiness.

If you have, by chance, encountered my mother in the last week: face to face or facebook to facebook (or whatever) you may have noticed that her topic of conversation has pretty much circled around one topic. This topic.

When something makes me angry I usually avoid talking about it or reading about it or listening to anything about it until I go mad, mad, mad in my strong emotional state... and write a blog about it. Which isn't terribly productive, I realise, in the end; considering that I have an audience of about three people who probably know or can guess what it is I have to say about said topic anyway. But it makes me feel better.

In this case, I would really love it if writing this blog made some sort of difference, though I realise the chances of that are very slim.

Ismail is a young twenty-six year old man who fled Afghanistan when he was about fourteen years old. We all should know that Afghanistan (for a very long time) hasn't been the most peaceful of countries for a boy to grow up in and live out his dreams; add to this the fact that Ismail is an ethnic Hazara - a group systematically persecuted in Afghanistan for hundreds of years, and you might be able to piece together his reason for leaving. He fled to Europe and eventually ended up in Ireland, where he was able to complete a High School Certificate equivalent - but not allowed to seek higher education or employment. So, unable to make a life in Ireland, he obtained a false passport, got on a plane to Australia and handed himself over to the authorities in the belief that he would be treated with humanity in a country that prides itself on 'a fair go for all'.

He has been incarcerated in detention ever since. On Saturday he is going to be 'forcibly returned' to Afghanistan - the first person to be involuntarily deported after seeking asylum in Australia.

We, in Australia, are fed a lot of... bovine poo about refugees. The government parties use the 'boat people problem' as a scare tactic to try and win votes at election time - the media loves to tell us just how much the refugees cost our country in space and money and culture; everywhere our national predilection for racism and paranoia is fed like some sort of sacred flame.

Think of the films you like to watch. Any spy films, dystopian themed films, Holocaust themed films in that bunch? When you watch characters in these films steal away from dangerous enemy territory, clutching a false passport and sneaking their children through ditches, do you feel that they are selfish human beings? Do you feel that they are wrong for disobeying the law? Do you feel that they are cowardly or otherwise immoral?

Refugees aren't just people who didn't make good in their homeland and want to sponge off another country's government - refugee are, well, a good place to start would be refugees are people. Refugees are fleeing from places where bombs fall on their houses. Refugees are fleeing from places where their daughters can't walk to school without being raped, fleeing from places where they cannot make fundamental life choices about what they believe, where (or if) they will live or how they will make a life. Refugees are fleeing from places where they have no hope for a future. They leave places where trouble has come upon them unsought.

Can you imagine what it must be like to BE a 'boat person'? Floating for days and days on the ocean, packed in with other miserable, frightened people with minimal resources of any description on a boat that will probably be two leaks away from sinking to the bottom of the ocean? Besides the almost always nonexistent hygeine facilities and the awful food and the lack of defense against the ravages of weather, there are also pirates. Not jolly, yo ho ho pirates with parrots and peg legs: real modern pirates who steal any kind of material possession you might have managed to bring with you. Pirates who rape and kidnap wives and sisters before the very eyes of their families. I'm not trying to shock or scandalise you for effect - these attacks are real, documented. This stuff happens.

And then, when you reach Australia, a civilised first world country, where poverty means hand-me-downs and Centrelink payments for Australian citizens, we imprison you in a detention centre, give you hope and snatch it away; make you wait YEARS and YEARS without any kind of certainty about your future and without anything vaguely resembling the freedom, liberty and justice that a country like Australia has to offer. People in detention centres suffer from the worst kinds of mental illness and are never offered any treatment.

Not only is Ismail being sent back to a part of Afghanistan where he has never even been before (and he has not been in the country since he was a child) and where he knows no one - the authorities have handed him a bill for the expense of his unwanted journey - over $30,000. This, for a man who has been locked up for two years like a criminal - who came to Australia because he wished to seek education and employment!

Bear in mind, this is a person my mother and brother know (from visits to Villawood detention centre over the last few months). He is not a random money-grabbing opportunist or a scary alien from another planet. I am told that he is a patient, gentle man who is genuinely scared of dying. He has seen three suicides and a riot happen at the detention centre. When he confessed feelings of depression and anxiety he was put in isolation in a video monitored blood stained room.

Ismail left Afghanistan because he feared death. Australians are sending him right back to Afghanistan - and his case will create a precedent for other Hazara people to be sent back into the arms of death. Pray for Australia. Pray for Afghanistan.


Pray for Ismail.

Monday, 15 August 2011

We are sick, we are sick, we are sick, sick, sick

Hello dears.

Just emerging from one of the nastiest bouts of illness I can remember. 'Twas not nice at all, my friends - not the least little bit! Normally I feel weirdly guilty or awkward talking about being sick - coz nobody else ever does, and it feels like complaining, but well! There were points during the weekend when I thought I must have contracted swine flu or avian flu or one of those things that 'healthy young people' suddenly die from. An overreaction, naturally. I'm not dead. And I'm almost back on form again now, so it doesn't matter anyway :-) Tell you what, though, being sick is so boring! Apart from the pain and the aches and the being unable to eat or sleep or move, it's boring! It's rather embarrassing to mention, but when I'm really sick and can't read or watch anything, I like to lie still and imagine visits from all the people I would like to see. Of course, most of the time, (apart from friends and family!) these people are completely fictional. I have Jeeves bring me in cups of tea and read me stories (in Stephen Fry's voice, naturally); then Aragorn comes in and gives me medicinal herbal stuff because 'the hands of a king are the hands of a healer' and then Jim or Wally comes and sits on the end of my bed and talks to me and... eventually I fall asleep. I know, I know, I AM PATHETIC! But sick people are allowed to be pathetic.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

“A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn, not easily mended.”


Caution: contains gigantic heaps of spoilers.

On Sunday night my sister and I went down to the video shop because there was a special on: all movies $1! I couldn't be expected to pass up on a deal like that, even if the busyness of my life should presuppose the impossibility of DVD watching... We picked up a few brainless chick flicks before Tay spotted the face of one of her favourite actors on a cover. "James McAvoy," she shrieked, "let's get Atonement." In a moment of rashness, I said yes.

It only took me about a minute and a half to regret it. "I won't watch it with you," I told her. "It's MA and will probably be awkward. We'll watch Bring It On and I'll see Atonement by myself tomorrow."

I'm so glad I didn't watch this movie with my sister!

So, I sat down by myself with the DVD last night and watched the thing.
I take back what I said earlier about Love Actually. That film was, indeed, depressing and distressing to watch, but I managed to derive some enjoyment from it. I did not enjoy Atonement at all. I appreciated it. I thought it was beautifully made. The cinematography was to die for and the casting (apart from Keira Knightley. Yeuch.) was perfect.
Buuuuuut it was a horrible, excruciating experience. Why anyone would dream up such a story in the first place, let alone want to share it with the world, beats me. I love watching James McAvoy and Benedict Cumberbatch, bless them; but I don't want to watch James McAvoy write obscene letters and die horribly. I really don't want to watch Benedict Cumberbatch play a creepy rapist, even if he's such a good actor that I forgot that it was him. Ick. I don't want to see the depravity of war and child abuse and Keira Knightley's face.
Funny thing about this film: if you believe the promotional material and fan talk, it's a romantic love story. It isn't. I didn't think the love story was romantic, anyway. They're together, what, half a day before he gets carted off? This is actually pointed out at some point, but quickly handwaved. None of their so-called love story made sense, particularly that stupid and implausible scene in the library. *hits the fast forward button*
The protagonist of the story is actually the little girl, Briony. (This becomes apparent at the end of the film, though I would actually recommend that you don't watch the end of the film. So bloomin' depressing!) It's sort of weird of me, but I actually sympathised more with her than any of the other characters. Because, come on, she's a little girl! Little girls do stupid things! Stuff Cecilia, Briony suffers more.
And, really, that's what Atonement is all about. Suffering. And darn it, it's not just the characters who get to suffer. I aged about three years in the duration of this film.

So, yeah. It was pretty, had a lovely soundtrack, kudos to the director for good directing... but I hated it. A pretty stupid story all round.

Monday, 28 March 2011

Procrastinators unite! ...tomorrow



Hello.
I'm pretty deep in procrastination here - essay due on Friday and I haven't touched it yet.
But my head is filled with the rampaging pain of an emerging wisdom tooth. Aiee! It hurts.
Jennifer's wedding (on Saturday) was a dream of loveliness. I teared up three times. And I could barely see or hear anything, so that says a lot. Must, simply must go study now.

Thursday, 22 April 2010

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.


Today has been a non-day.

I spent the first half of it lying in my dark, squalid room, coughing fitfully and clutching my much aching head just like something out of a scene in Dickens. Then I found an old packet of Panadeine Forte left over from my perforated eardrum adventure. Under the influence of this discovery I had a blissfully hazy golden afternoon, comprised mostly of a long nap in the sunshine that spilled through the window onto my bed. An afternoon made still more golden by a facebook chat with my lovely Erin and a heart-wrenchingly beautiful blog by the latter.
I also read a biography of Tolkien, and, whilst still in headache land, (mostly to try and escape it) I imagined a long dream of awesomeness, in which my favourite people and fictional people united to save the world from the clutches of evil. It was awesome. And childish. And foolish. And fun.

Need to buy some bubblebath.


read the printed word!

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