Frivolous Chick Flicks to Brighten a Rainy Afternoon

Let's just say that this list isn't going to be very big on films that make you think...

Suddenly 30




A lot of which has to do with fluffiness and adorableness and this scene. Gosh I love this scene.

Never Been Kissed - also fluffy and frivolous, but a nostalgic favourite for me.  Used to watch it with the family.

Easy A

Legally Blonde -  just the first one. The second is a travesty.

The First Wives Club isn't bad.

Kate and Leopold. Isn't that good. Ewwy Meg Ryan. But it's worth a watch for Hugh Jackman!

She's the Man. LOVE IT.

Chocolat - very pretty, Johnny Deppy and... chocolatey. Make sure you watch this with a block of Cadbury's on hand :-)

The Importance of Being Earnest - Silly and funny and clever and lovely.

10 Things I Hate About You - Heath Ledgerrrrrr. And a baby-faced Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It's also very quotable.

The Wedding Singer  is OK. I also happen to like my parents' cut of 50 First Dates (we're big on fast forwarding in my family).

To tell you the truth, these films have spoiled me for movies like Steel Magnolias, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. I feel like a bit of a moron for saying it, but I just don't get why you would want to make (or watch) a sappy sad chick flick.


Don't rent:

You've Got Mail (boring and stupid)
The Notebook (I don't get the hype.)
A Good Woman (a 1920s take on an Oscar Wilde play should have been good. Alas.)
Life as We Know It (Or any Katherine Heigel film, for that matter, though 27 Dresses isn't totally heinous. Oh and anything with Amanda Sieyfried in it should be avoided like the plague unless it's Mean Girls)
The Holiday
Leap Day (I enjoyed it. But it was utterly stupid and, well, stupid. Ditto When in Rome, Sydney White, Confessions Of A Shopaholic, Lovewrecked)
Bride Wars
Something Borrowed (I would endure ridiculous amounts of boredom rather than suffer this nightmare of a film once more.)
Just Like Heaven
 Rumour Has It (and all other Jennifer Aniston films)

You've obviously never been neck deep in nuns.

Put my hair in curlers last night. Realise now that this was somewhat unwise, seeing as I didn't have anywhere to go show off ze luvverly ringlets today. So tonight I must once again bind up the curly locks in rollers and pins and somehow wangle my head into a position in which no pins are jabbing my skull, if I'm to try it out in public. Quite pleased with the effect - my hair sometimes does the mad corkscrewy ringlet thing of its own accord - though rarely. This is more reliable.

Oh. My. Gosh. Doctor Who people, that was ridiculously creepy. And then the creepiness got a bit boring. But still...
And the creepiness was made even more creepy by the fact that I spent the previous two hours watching The Bells of St Mary's - i.e., the tamest thing to come out of the 40s. A heartwarming film about a Catholic school run by Bing Crosby ('Father O'Malley') and Ingrid Bergman ('Sister Benedict'). There were things in it that had me smiling but bewildered - a nun teaching a little boy to box so that he can defend himself in the playground? What? Bizarre. According to wikipedia though (yes, I know about the trustworthiness of publicly edited websites) it's the 50th highest grossing film of all time. There you go. And the (horrific if your imagination is as graphic as mine) quote I'm using for the heading? It's from this film.
There is a scene I quite liked. Here, watch it.

"...you should see it even though it's hateful and empty and preaches the worst kind of reactionary violence without even really meaning it."

Watched Transformers 3: The Dark Side of the Moon last night. 'Twas pretty OK, though it made me realise what a big soppy girly girl I truly am. Because my favourite moment in the entire movie was (and, stay with me, it's a little involved) when Shia LaBeouf (or however it's spelled)'s character shoots a decepticon in the eye with a grappling hook. The really cute soldier guy (whose role I really don't get, but who cares?) grabs ahold of the rope (by which LaBeouf's character is now perilously swinging from the rampaging robot's eye) and they both dangle dangerously, screaming, until Bumblebee shows up and saves them. I was all 'Naww! How pointless and yet endearing this show of buddy-dom is!' And that was the highlight of the film, for me at least. The rest of it was just a big testosterone fest with no likeable female characters (the military one doesn't die! At all! WHY DOES SHE NOT DIE?And the personality-free girlfriend who manages, somehow, to remain impossibly lovely and pretty and stiletto heeled). There were some cool effects. There was some cool acting from LaBeouf - although he only became relatable about twenty minutes into the film. The script was ghastly. The special effects were awesome. The bearded autobot guy was ridiculous. The annoying autobots were annoying. Bumblebee and Optimus Prime were lovely. This is all I have to say. Not a total waste of time, this movie.

“A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn, not easily mended.”

Caution: contains gigantic heaps of spoilers.

On Sunday night my sister and I went down to the video shop because there was a special on: all movies $1! I couldn't be expected to pass up on a deal like that, even if the busyness of my life should presuppose the impossibility of DVD watching... We picked up a few brainless chick flicks before Tay spotted the face of one of her favourite actors on a cover. "James McAvoy," she shrieked, "let's get Atonement." In a moment of rashness, I said yes.

It only took me about a minute and a half to regret it. "I won't watch it with you," I told her. "It's MA and will probably be awkward. We'll watch Bring It On and I'll see Atonement by myself tomorrow."

I'm so glad I didn't watch this movie with my sister!

So, I sat down by myself with the DVD last night and watched the thing.
I take back what I said earlier about Love Actually. That film was, indeed, depressing and distressing to watch, but I managed to derive some enjoyment from it. I did not enjoy Atonement at all. I appreciated it. I thought it was beautifully made. The cinematography was to die for and the casting (apart from Keira Knightley. Yeuch.) was perfect.
Buuuuuut it was a horrible, excruciating experience. Why anyone would dream up such a story in the first place, let alone want to share it with the world, beats me. I love watching James McAvoy and Benedict Cumberbatch, bless them; but I don't want to watch James McAvoy write obscene letters and die horribly. I really don't want to watch Benedict Cumberbatch play a creepy rapist, even if he's such a good actor that I forgot that it was him. Ick. I don't want to see the depravity of war and child abuse and Keira Knightley's face.
Funny thing about this film: if you believe the promotional material and fan talk, it's a romantic love story. It isn't. I didn't think the love story was romantic, anyway. They're together, what, half a day before he gets carted off? This is actually pointed out at some point, but quickly handwaved. None of their so-called love story made sense, particularly that stupid and implausible scene in the library. *hits the fast forward button*
The protagonist of the story is actually the little girl, Briony. (This becomes apparent at the end of the film, though I would actually recommend that you don't watch the end of the film. So bloomin' depressing!) It's sort of weird of me, but I actually sympathised more with her than any of the other characters. Because, come on, she's a little girl! Little girls do stupid things! Stuff Cecilia, Briony suffers more.
And, really, that's what Atonement is all about. Suffering. And darn it, it's not just the characters who get to suffer. I aged about three years in the duration of this film.

So, yeah. It was pretty, had a lovely soundtrack, kudos to the director for good directing... but I hated it. A pretty stupid story all round.

A lovely day

Hello lovely ones.

Spent a wonderful day with my sister yesterday - we decided to go into the city without a plan. So we rode the monorail, browsed the bookshops, bought an umbrella and laughed like hyenas at nothing in particular... and saw a movie.


I enjoyed Arthur quite a bit. It was heartfelt, funny, visually spectacular, and bedazzlingly scripted. Russell Brand was fascinating to watch - I don't know if I particularly cared about his character's fate in the end, which is sort of awful - but I was certainly entertained. Helen Mirren was brilliant - of course, but I felt that most of the other female characters (and what other male characters there were) weren't very well developed. Greta Gerwig was very forgettable as Arthur's love interest: I haven't seen her in any other films or heard of her before and won't recognise her if I see her again. I loved the soundtrack of this movie - unfortunately I can't seem to find more than one or two tracks on youtube to listen to. If this turns out to be my favourite film of 2011 I will have the right to be very disappointed, but I did enjoy it.

And Repose Is Tabooed By Anxiety

Hi.

I had a nice day. With lovely people.

My bedroom looks like the victim of a clothes bomb terrorist. (The threat is real, people. Clothes bombs. Spread the word.) I can't be bothered sorting the mess just now - not even to get into bed: repulsively lazy of me. Presently I'll probably curl up on a mountain of crumpled garments and watch Sabrina (the Audrey Hepburn version. I don't even like the film that much - but I seem to watch it whenever I don't feel like any of the films on my shelf.)

I actually enjoy most films on some level (except porn/scary/gory films. I never enjoy those. I never watch them.). Particularly in a movie theatre - bad films can be as enjoyable as good ones, if viewed in the company of discerning friends. But not just the spectacularly bad films: films of such intense mediocrity that remembering their names is an exercise in mental acrobatism (is that a word?); somehow I have enjoyed those. Ah, films like Did You Hear About the Morgans (the funny bits were all in the ad) Bride Wars (quite a nasty premise nastily executed) 27 Dresses (oh, and anything else with Katherine Heigl in it). I got enjoyment out of these films, whilst still appreciating their awfulness.
I actually own quite a few films that aren't that good. So I thought to myself, thought I: why not make a list?

Here's the list:

Elmo in Grouchland
I saw this as a kid and had a peculiar sort of fascination/horror/guilty enjoyment of it: one day recently I had a random craving to watch it - my mum saw it on sale that very day (spooky) for very cheap and bought me a copy. Thing is, I can't bring myself to throw/give it away because there is one smashing scene in which Mandy Patikin sings! A song! About being selfish! It's awesome!




Disclaimer: this is not that song.


Much Ado About Nothing

I saw this film on sale for cheap, bought it, hated it. It's pretty terrible. Not reccomended to anyone who likes Shakespeare, Emma Thompson or not randomly seeing naked dudes without warning or reason. Ewwy. I couldn't bring myself to watch any scenes from this film again, so I'm not going to give you a clip from it. If you desperately want to watch it you can have my DVD. Really. Any takers? (If you want a good version, the BBC did it much better in 1984. I have that version too.)

The Lake House

I can enjoy just about anything. I don't know why I enjoy this film. It's incredibly boring, with a contrived and trite script, dull characters and actors I can't like for their own sakes. But I do enjoy watching it. I like the themes. I like the randomness of the premise, even though it's pretty stupid. Why do I enjoy this movieeeeee?




Paris When It Sizzles

This film came in a box set with several other Audrey Hepburn movies, so I can't be blamed for selecting it or anything. There are a ton of problems - it's so disorganised, plotless, directionless: the whole movie is a parody of itself! And, for a self parody, it's not so clever as it should be. William Holden was such a drunkard at the time of filming that he couldn't show up on a number of shooting days and they grabbed Tony Curtis (who was visiting the set) and wrote him some scenes. Here's one. He's quite funny, actually.



Sense and Sensibility (1981)

This version is sooooo boring! Badly cast, badly acted, badly written, poor production values: the only decent thing about it was the characters who were meant to be irritating - and they were only slightly more irritating than everyone else! But I can't bring myself to throw it away somehow - I have two other versions on DVD; I like having them avaliable for comparison. In case I ever want to compare them, which I probably won't. And you can't have a clip from it either, because I can't be bothered looking for one on which the embedding code is avaliable.

The picture says it all, really.

“Only thing worse than watching a bad movie is being in one” - Elvis Presley

After all, who'd pay any attention to a baritone and a detective?

Just watched the 1943 version of Phantom of the Opera. It was sort of hilarious. I mean, the operatic parts of it were actually operatic and Christine actually could sing, unlike any other version of Christine I've ever heard. But for some reason the filmmakers completely changed the story almost beyond recognition... instead of the original plot: disfigured genius loves girl and helps her to become opera singer (through murder and manipulation) and tries to make her love him, but, after lots and lots of drama she instead is saved from his machinations by her childhood sweetheart; in this version the Phantom's obsession with Christine is not really explained - he acts weirdly around her, but since he's over 50 it's just creepy without being even the slightest bit appealing. Raoul, instead of being her childhood sweetheart, is the chief of police - his rival is the opera company's baritone. These two are meant to provide comic relief: they look the same, often speak and move in unison and I suspect that, since Christine actually chooses her career over love, they end up strolling off into the sunset together quite happily. The amount of gay undertones here... it's just silly! Besides, the Phantom is killed off by a rockslide and promptly forgotten about. What's going on?!


Oh, and there's a director or backstage manager (or something, his role is never explained) who keeps insisting that the 'ghost' has a long nose and a red beard (he doesn't). I really don't understand.

And At Midnight I’ll Turn Into A Pumpkin And Drive Away In My Glass Slipper

Watching Roman Holiday. I just love Audrey Hepburn in this film. She plays exactly what you would imagine Julie Andrews’ character from The Princess Diaries would have been at age 15. In fact, if you can imagine that this is the case watching The Princess Diaries becomes even a little more enjoyable. Gregory Peck is, of course, delightful as well - I love how his character is just enough of a gentleman to let Ann stay the night, but not enough of a gentleman to let her have the bed!

One doesn’t think of this film as being particularly funny in retrospect - that's probably because of the downer ending - but watching it right now I’m actually giggling to myself at some of the particularly cute parts. And it is a very cute film. I don’t care how hammy Audrey can be - it’s a stylish, dignified hammy and she deserved that Oscar, just for the sheer sweetness of the thing. I also forgot how sneaky some of these jokes are - like the cleaning lady coming in and finding Ann in the bathroom and the scene shortly after when the landlord sees Joe giving Ann some money for a taxi! I’m not sure I understood those the first time I saw this...


I wonder what the normal ratio of Hepburn’s age to that of her male costar was. If it weren’t for the fact that Gregory Peck is, well, Gregory Peck, the romantic aspect of this film would really be quite creepy, since he gives the impression of being about twenty years older than her. But, oh, darnit, I want to ride around Rome on a Vespa with Gregory Peck! There are so many landmarks I didn’t know about previously that are now top of my list of places to go ‘when in Rome’!

As for the ending... I don’t like the end of this film, but I respect it.

Do watch Roman Holiday. It's a darling film.

"But I'm not two hundred years old. Why can't I sleep in pajamas?"

Audrey Hepburn winning an Oscar® for "Roman Holiday"

Her Teeth! Good Grief, Her TEETH!

Just watched the proposal scene from the new-er version of Pride and Prejudice. I wish I could have enjoyed that film more, but it was completely ruined by terrible casting decisions. I wish Keira Knightley had been holidaying in Antarctica when the casting director was seeing auditions. I really do. (Almost as much as I wish Alex Kingston, actress who plays 'River Song' would have a big fight with the makers of Doctor Who and leave.) Ugh, just got attacked by a moth. Maybe that moth likes Alex Kingston and Keira Knightley. Stupid moth.
I rather enjoy watching Keira Knightley's Elizabeth get dragged over the coals by Matthew McFayden's Mr Darcy - but I physically laugh every time she does that stupid thing with her mouth when talking... it's so distracting! How can anybody watch that without just staring at her enormous teeth?
I'm particularly annoyed because Elizabeth Bennet is my favourite fictional female character ever. I can't quite say why, but she is one of the only heroines I have ever completely identified with and enjoyed reading about. Just perfectly written, is all. I hope someday I am able to create such a character, but I fear this is a futile dream.
And the film isn't so bad a film. I mean, the lead cast is awful, the pacing sucks and have I mentioned that the lead cast is awful? But it's really quite a lovely film visually - the art direction is glorious and the costumes are divine - apart from a few weird outfits worn by, you guessed it, Miss Knightley. *Internal groan* Why, when given a period whose costume accentuates the chest, would you cast a girl who doesn't have one? Come to think of it, the clothes aren't that bad, they just look terrible on her.

I wish I had that dress. Perhaps only four sizes larger.

I had to leave work early today because of an enormous sinus headache. Have been in bed since 2.30. My head is a bubbling caldron of pain sometimes. Forgive the venom behind this post, dear ones.

You should know that this is the strangest thing I've ever done!

Good afternoon.

Went to see Disney's Tangled last night; here's some (hopefully!) brief thoughts.

I generally prefer old-style Disney movies with the traditional hand drawn animation; they just seem to be more story-focussed and prettier in general than the recent splurge of computer animated films, but Tangled has gone some little way in changing my opinion. To begin with, it was pretty much an old style Disney film: complete with sheltered pretty princess singing about her desire for a 'dream' to come true... in fact, it was just old style enough for me to get the old time butterflies in the tummy that I used to get going to the movies as a little kid. And the design of the whole thing was just SO GORGEOUS! In a little girl's bedroom kind of way, but still! I did have some issues with it though... (feel free to skip my gratituous whinge fest)Firstly, the music. Alan Menken has done some brilliant lovely work: Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast, to begin with. Buuut, with Tangled, I feel, he has fallen far far below the standard set in these films. The music is mediocre and just doesn't quite feel right in many instances. Plus, the lyrics are awful - they really shouldn't have hired someone with such awful and limited experience.
And I got annoyed very quickly at how the characters' lips didn't always move whilst they were singing. It felt a bit like all those rock music montages in Shrek films awkwardly married to a proper Little Mermaid style song. I know Disney has done this before and it has worked - but not this time.
Moving on. The animation and design were amazing and I won't fuss about them - except to say that Rapunzel's head was too big... and I found this oddly distracting. Particularly since it made Flynn's pupils (in his eyes) look too small in comparison - making him look permanently shocked whenever they were in frame together. At least, that's how I felt. Haha - and now you'll have to notice it too. Sorry.

Now we get to the difficult stuff. The romance felt just a leetle bit off - watching the ads I wasn't even sure there would be any, and watching the film I kept veering towards 'yep, this is pretty intimate and... nope, not romantic' over and over; possibly a deliberately sought effect by the filmmakers, but definitely annoying. I think the fact that Rapunzel looks so darn young has a lot to do with the 'off-ness' (and when I say 'off' I don't mean 'off' like a rotten fish, I just mean 'off' as in 'off kilter') of the romance - coupled with the fact that it was mostly from her perspective - it felt a bit like a girl with a crush on an older man. Awkward.
Particularly when one thinks that the film is partially narrated by Flynn, I would have liked to see a bit more of his side of the romance. Plus, I generally prefer to see members of the opposite sex feeling insecure and lovestruck in films. Don't you?


And the movie should have been called Rapunzel! Tangled, as a title, just doesn't fit with the feel and the direction of the film, which, for all the derring-do and humour, is mostly heart.

I did love this film. I connected really well with this film. Forget my whinging, please :-)

The structure of your tale deceived me for a moment into thinking that it was over.

Just finished watching, as per usual for my Tuesday evening, QI. The first episode ever, and it wasn't actually very interesting. Just rather crude. I don't think I learned anything new except that the Archbishop of Canterbury is deaf in his left ear. Useful stuff. Got my grandparents to watch the first two episodes of Jeeves and Wooster with me and I think they liked it.
The cat went up to the screen and put her paws on Bertie's face at one point, which was mildly hilarious, considering she's never paid any attention to the TV before. I loooooved watching Grandad and Grandma figuring out what had happened three minutes before darling Wooster did and their chortles when he caught up.


I made soup yesterday and left it on whilst I had a bath and forgot about it. Grandma heard it sizzling (yep, sizzling. Not a good sound for soup) and called me in. Dear reader, it was a brown crust on the floor of the saucepan with a soup bone sitting forlornly like a whale whose pool at Seaworld has been drained by evil terrorists. Buuuuuut, I put water and vegetables and barley in the pot this afternoon and just swallowed down two bowls of the stuff. One of the best soups I've ever concocted... isn't that befuddling? And I couldn't do it again if I tried.


Just been listening to the soundtrack from The Last of the Mohicans (on YouTube) whilst I type this. I hated that movie, hated it so much. Daniel Day Lewis looked like a git. I don't care whether his acting was award-worthy or whatever, Hawkeye is the most annoying male character in film and literature. Just look at him in this picture. I know he's meant to be all 'ooo, gorgeous abs!' but to me it just looks silly. I mean, the two main Indians are not going about in loincloths - they look sensible and sane and respectably clothed - why does the stupid white guy stand there in his underwear? The guy on his left doesn't look like an idiot, despite the loincloth thing (it makes sense for him to wear one, as a Native American it's his culture. And it just doesn't look silly) but that doesn't make Lewis look any less embarrassingly like he's been caught disrobing.

This film is the reason I've never watched Braveheart or Gladiator. Yep, I'm more a fan of the kind of period film in which everyone swans around wearing glorious clothes, dancing til dawn and smouldering at each other through marvellously well-manicured eyebrows. Not films in which the heroes are brutally maimed and the women who did briefly get to swan around in glorious clothes end up being slain horribly. Even though The Last of the Mohicans made me feel like jumping off a cliff myself (only people who have seen it will get the pun) it has an EPIC soundtrack. All those violins! Delicious! Should I post the last scene here? *Chews fingernails* It's not family friendly, I'm afraid, and a terrible plot spoiler for those of you who may someday actually view this ghastly creation... but it has seven minutes of pure soundtrack over the top of the pretty depressing action. *Surfs YouTube indecisively* I know! I won't put the end clip here (although I will give you a link. But that's not the same) - but I won't give you just soundtrack either. Somebody's done a clip with Irish dancing! Yay! This I can watch without imagining a tomahawk in my guts. Even if you don't like Irish dancing (and how could you not?), just listen to the music. Feel the awesomeness just sailing out at you. (Weirdly, it's one of those songs that just sound fantastic in different ways when covered by different people with different interpretations of it... click on all the links, I dare you. But not at the same time! The last one is pure adorableness.)

Well I don't think I'm going too far, Jeeves, when I say that this just about takes the giddy biscuit!