Whee, Look, I Am Bad At Life

Hello and good evening poppets. I hope your days have been as merry and bright of late as mine have been dark and unimpressive. Do you want to hear a story of my stupidity and general incompetence at life and adulthood? Gather 'round.

So last night I had the worst raging headache... no really, I was actually wondering which of the cleaning products in the laundry downstairs would kill me most quickly if ingested - and when I woke up this morning it had not yet vacated my poor aching skull. So I spent today lying around, weeping over the piles of clothes on my floor, madly rushing to top up the paracetemol every time it seemed to be wearing off and, well, it wasn't that different than any other day, besides the fact that I was sick as a dog. But this evening - still feeling crappy and so on - I remembered that one of the things on the long list of 'things I was supposed to do today' was taking my car to the mechanic to get the starter motor fixed and the battery terminals replaced. My car has been having major troubles starting lately, which has been a problem.
So this evening, hoping that tomorrow I will be well enough to drive said car to work, I decided to test the car's starting and driving capabilities. It started, after a few goes, and I drove it about for a bit before I had the bright idea of turning it off and seeing if it would turn on again. It didn't. Unfortunately I chose to do this about twenty blocks from my house. And I had left my phone at home. And I had left my inhaler at home. And I was wearing my flying squirrel onesie. (Don't forget - I'm also sick. Which explains why I never changed out of said onesie all day.) Do I go and knock on a nearby door and ask to borrow a phone? No, I am far too socially anxious to do that, so I walk home, in the thunderstorm, in the squirrel onesie, in the middle of an asthma attack of fortunately mild intensity. Of course, this would be the time that all the middle aged men wearing shorts and bling and driving creepy white vans choose to pull up on the streets in my neighbourhood. (Apparently they all live near my house) There was also a police helicopter flying around with a spotlight, presumably searching for some desperate criminals in my near vicinity! Yay!
So that ends the story of my balls of fun evening. How are you?