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Sunday, 17 April 2011

And Repose Is Tabooed By Anxiety

Hi.

I had a nice day. With lovely people.

My bedroom looks like the victim of a clothes bomb terrorist. (The threat is real, people. Clothes bombs. Spread the word.) I can't be bothered sorting the mess just now - not even to get into bed: repulsively lazy of me. Presently I'll probably curl up on a mountain of crumpled garments and watch Sabrina (the Audrey Hepburn version. I don't even like the film that much - but I seem to watch it whenever I don't feel like any of the films on my shelf.)

I actually enjoy most films on some level (except porn/scary/gory films. I never enjoy those. I never watch them.). Particularly in a movie theatre - bad films can be as enjoyable as good ones, if viewed in the company of discerning friends. But not just the spectacularly bad films: films of such intense mediocrity that remembering their names is an exercise in mental acrobatism (is that a word?); somehow I have enjoyed those. Ah, films like Did You Hear About the Morgans (the funny bits were all in the ad) Bride Wars (quite a nasty premise nastily executed) 27 Dresses (oh, and anything else with Katherine Heigl in it). I got enjoyment out of these films, whilst still appreciating their awfulness.
I actually own quite a few films that aren't that good. So I thought to myself, thought I: why not make a list?

Here's the list:

Elmo in Grouchland
I saw this as a kid and had a peculiar sort of fascination/horror/guilty enjoyment of it: one day recently I had a random craving to watch it - my mum saw it on sale that very day (spooky) for very cheap and bought me a copy. Thing is, I can't bring myself to throw/give it away because there is one smashing scene in which Mandy Patikin sings! A song! About being selfish! It's awesome!




Disclaimer: this is not that song.


Much Ado About Nothing

I saw this film on sale for cheap, bought it, hated it. It's pretty terrible. Not reccomended to anyone who likes Shakespeare, Emma Thompson or not randomly seeing naked dudes without warning or reason. Ewwy. I couldn't bring myself to watch any scenes from this film again, so I'm not going to give you a clip from it. If you desperately want to watch it you can have my DVD. Really. Any takers? (If you want a good version, the BBC did it much better in 1984. I have that version too.)

The Lake House

I can enjoy just about anything. I don't know why I enjoy this film. It's incredibly boring, with a contrived and trite script, dull characters and actors I can't like for their own sakes. But I do enjoy watching it. I like the themes. I like the randomness of the premise, even though it's pretty stupid. Why do I enjoy this movieeeeee?




Paris When It Sizzles

This film came in a box set with several other Audrey Hepburn movies, so I can't be blamed for selecting it or anything. There are a ton of problems - it's so disorganised, plotless, directionless: the whole movie is a parody of itself! And, for a self parody, it's not so clever as it should be. William Holden was such a drunkard at the time of filming that he couldn't show up on a number of shooting days and they grabbed Tony Curtis (who was visiting the set) and wrote him some scenes. Here's one. He's quite funny, actually.



Sense and Sensibility (1981)

This version is sooooo boring! Badly cast, badly acted, badly written, poor production values: the only decent thing about it was the characters who were meant to be irritating - and they were only slightly more irritating than everyone else! But I can't bring myself to throw it away somehow - I have two other versions on DVD; I like having them avaliable for comparison. In case I ever want to compare them, which I probably won't. And you can't have a clip from it either, because I can't be bothered looking for one on which the embedding code is avaliable.

The picture says it all, really.

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