I Want To Have A Butler/Valet Or To Be One - They Always Get The Best Banter

"...the best laid schemes of mice and men -"

"I don't want poetry, I don't want mice, I want my hat and coat."

"Very good, sir, but I do feel-"

"Now look here young fellow, your eyes have been burning holes in the back of my neck all evening. And if I see you looking at me once again I'm going to get very mad and take you apart 'til I find the little machine that says 'yes, sir, no, sir, very good, sir' and I'm going to break it, see?"

"Yes, sir."

- Smart Girls Grow Up


Algernon: Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralizing as that?

Lane: I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person.

Algernon: I don't know that I am much interested in your family life, Lane.

Lane: No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it myself.

Bertie: The club book?

Jeeves: Under rule eleven, all members are required to provide the
secretary with full information about their employer, sir. This not
only provides entertaining reading, but also provides a warning to
those seeking employment with those gentlemen who fall short of the
ideal.

Bertie: Did you tell them about me?

Jeeves: Oh yes, sir.

Bertie: What, everything? The night I came home from Pongo
Twistleton's birthday party and mistook the standing lamp for a
burglar?

Jeeves: That episode is a particular favorite with members, sir. They
like to have these things to read on wet afternoons.