OK, major dilemma right now.
I'm sorta probably moving into my grandparents' house (if 'you're moving in, it's official,' was a serious statement), but there's a problem. For one month last year I shared housesitting duties with my cousin, who is about two years older than me. We're kind of diametrically opposite each other, but not in a good way - I mean, we're both polite, civilized people who understand another's need for space, fairly neat and hardworking (though she beats me to China and back on both scores, I'll admit) but we just don't click. At all. The reason may be that I spent an entire summer following her around for the simple purpose of being annoying when I was six and she was eight (I was out of the 'cool, older cousins' club, so I think the behaviour justified in retrospect). She's a popular, school-schooled, sophisticated, psycology-studying card-carrying girlfriend and I'm a frizzy-haired, stout homeschooler with peculiar tastes who writes science fiction and children's fantasy.
When we were living in the house together I was having a bit of a difficult time; Joshua was in hospital with burns, Jackie was with him, praying that her baby wouldn't come too soon, David was driving between home, work and hospital all day and I was cooking, schooling, bathing, and caring for five children from ten am until around 7.30pm every weekday. A couple of times I didn't do the dishes when I got home to the housesitting house - once I forgot to make up a bed for Taiya when she slept over. And my cousin, without being asked, which I thought was sweet at the time, did these things for me without saying a word. When I thanked her, told her I was sorry for neglecting these chores and asked if there was anything I could do in return she smiled sweetly and said no. Of course, I panicked and spent the rest of the time at the house doing every chore that occured to me, from cleaning the shower, mopping the kitchen floor, taking out the bins, bringing in the mail and hanging out both of our laundry. Well, because I was spending enormous amounts of time at work and she was attending uni, we saw very little of each other during that time. Which I was glad of, because, frankly, things were getting awkward. I can't bear small talk in any situation, and when your life is revolving around news of an eighteen-month-old baby in hospital... well; awkward, monosyllabic conversations in stairwells don't work. Not comfortably, anyway.
I was nervous, I was uncomfortable and I was rather depressed. And recently I learned that she felt annoyed enough about the dishes thing to complain to somebody else. When I had repeatedly expressed a need to know if I was bothering her!
Argh. She's a lovely person, I'm sure: hard-working, motivated, loyal (to her friends), clever and talented - and has a right to complain to her sister. Who shouldn't have passed the complaints onto my sister. Who was justified in passing them onto me.
The problem is: my grandparents have offered her a room in their house. They now know that I'm awkward with this plan... which makes it even more awkward.
I'm just hoping and praying like mad that one of her friends suddenly offers to rent a flat with her somewhere amazing, - or she gets a job offer from New York or something.
In the meantime, what to do? Do I move in anyway and accept a horribly uncomfortable living situation? (aka, my grandparents' solution, which is 'you have your meals with us, stay in your room and you won't have to interact with her) Move in and ignore the awkwardness, living as I think best and not caring about what she thinks? Not move in at all?
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